Kurt Bell

A life of courage, joy and independence.

Putting kids first – Sons of Grizzly – LylesBrother

“Hi Kurt,

Really enjoyed your latest video regarding provisions. Made so much sense to me, and it’s always heartening to find that despite how adrift one might feel – there is always someone else experiencing the same life-dilemmas. Safety in numbers don’t you know!

I wanted to ask you a particular question that I would value your insight on if you don’t mind.

Here’s my question; Should I continue an essentially pragmatic relationship or, despite the destruction it might cause, try and be with a person I truly love? A fairly difficult (and none too specific) question I know, but let me explain if you are prepared to listen further…

I am a loving Step Father to two wonderful daughters who I consider my own and would do anything for. I have been in a stable relationship with their mother for about 9 years now but am struggling to see a future for us after the children have flown the nest in a few years.

I know we all have our problems, some of which we are more aware of than others, but I try and keep it all on an even keel. However, my partner has a family history of depression and alcoholism, which although manifesting itself only occasionally over the years I sense is getting worse. I spend a lot of time and energy ‘keeping a lid’ on things and it’s got to the stage where I wonder how much longer I can keep doing this.

The complication to the story (and there always is one isn’t there..?!) is this; I have had a very wonderful friend for the last 20 years who has recently told me that she would love to have a closer relationship with me, but has for a long time been reluctant because of my relationship with my current partner.

Now I have always loved this other person, but circumstances always kept us apart but I now have the ‘opportunity’ to mend this but am confused.

In my mind, I tell myself that on the one hand I have a long-term relationship within a great home that we have built up over the years, and on the other I have what I consider to be a ‘true love’ with someone I know even better than my partner.

Essentially Kurt, I think my current partner will eventually drain all life from me and my very wonderful friend has always allowed me to flourish creatively and as a human being.

Hope you are able to digest all this, and that I’ve written it in an understandable form. I always worry when I put too many things in inverted commas!

All the very best, and keep the videos coming despite the sabbatical (which I think judging by your prolific output you will find hard to maintain)!

(name kept private)”


Welcome to the LylesBrother blog. My name is Kurt Bell and I am delighted that you have taken some time to share a little of life with me. I’m available on Facebook and Google+ if you have questions or just want to chat and say hi. I can also be found at the JVLOG forum with other Japan-related content creators. All links are listed below. I look forward to meeting you on-line. Have a great day!

The Path of WildnessThe Path of Wildness is easy to find
The course of a stream
Leaves blown in the wind
A beast’s track through the brush
And the direction of our first inclination

The Path of Wildness is an answer and response to a prescribed way of life which may leave some individuals with a sense that their living is little more than a series of pre-determined, step-like episodes between birth and death. The stages of living between these events: childhood, adolescence, adulthood, parenthood and senior are themselves natural and in accord with the needs of the species and most individuals. Many find their satisfaction in living this course and to these individuals I have little or nothing to say. Others though long for something more; something innate, genetic and seemingly calling. Adventure and change can give a degree of satisfaction and relief yet even these may seem too tame. To those who feel drawn to something beyond the entertainment and stimulation of senses I offer a walk along The Path of Wildness. Don’t bother penciling the event in your schedule, preparing a pack with goodies and supplies or even inviting a friend along, for this experience is along the course of your first inclination and you must surely always go alone.

The Path of Wildness Resources


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You can also reach me via email at the following address: softypapa@gmail.com


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This entry was posted on September 26, 2013 by in LylesBrother, Sons of Grizzly.
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