Kurt Bell

A life of courage, joy and independence.

“Defeated and looking for guidance” – Sons of Grizzly – LylesBrother

The video below is the one I referenced in this video about my life career path.

“Dear Kurt,

I’m sure every email you get starts off by telling you “I love your videos they’re great! Keep it up!” and this one will be no different, and I truly do mean it! I watch them whenever I get a chance to be in front of the computer. I have them running on the side to glance over at now and again, if I’m not able to give it my full focus due to being busy, or simply just to listen to you talk. Lately I’ve been listening to your videos of people emailing you about their anxiety and the like, and found myself thinking maybe this is just the thing I need at this point in my life, a different perspective from someone in a situation I wish to be at some point. Whether you email me back, make a video responding to me, or simply just allow me to vent somewhere is perfectly fine. So I’ll stop rambling on and wasting your time and hop right to it!

My name is Tanner XXXXX, I am 22 years old and live in XXXXX. I graduated last year from Culinary school with an Associates of Science degree in Culinary Arts and since then have just been lost. I’ve been applying wherever I can just to get my foot in the door. At first I was picky with what I was looking for but quickly learned it’s impossible to be picky with my work history especially in the job market these days. I’m sure you must be asking yourself “Well what is your work history that makes it hard for you to land a job?” Well, there is none. I went through high school without working at all, my parents wanted me to focus on school, and after I got out I was lucky enough to go straight into college and major in something I enjoy deeply. I’m now becoming more and more paranoid I’ll never land a job, let alone one I want. It’s been a long year of applications and no feed back from any of the places I’ve applied to. You can see how this could weigh on someone and make them feel “Defeated” for lack of a better term.

Getting back to a previous statement, asking for guidance from you because you are in a situation I’ve long wished to be. It’s long since been a dream of mine to eventually live in Japan even if only for a short while, it was my goal to finish College and land a decent paying job to start saving up for this dream and so far I’m falling short of every expectation of myself I’ve had. That being said, I have a few questions for you. I recently just watched your “My Life Career – Life stories” video you just posted and in it you mentioned after washing dishes for a while you landed a job in Japan teaching English. I’m curious how you came about landing such a position? I watch just about every “Gaijin Vlogger” in Japan and most if not all seem to be working as an English teacher, and this scares me a bit. I’m curious if landing a non-English teaching job in Japan as a Gaijin is extremely rare? I’d love to work in a hotel kitchen or restaurant in Japan but I’m beginning to wonder if maybe it may be a bit too tough to crack into the job market over there? As for my final question, if you were in my shoes what would be the beginning step on the journey to this dream be?

I fully plan on getting a job here in the states and working for 1 – 2 years saving every nickel and dime I can before even thinking about making may way abroad but I’d love to hear your insight into the situation. Thanks much in advance Kurt. If you made it this far through the email I’d like to apologize for its length, I know you must be a busy man. Thank you so much for taking the time to read through this I hope you have a wonderful day, even just writing this has lifted some of heaviness that’s been bearing on my chest.

Tanner XXXXX”


Welcome to the LylesBrother blog. My name is Kurt Bell and I am delighted that you have taken some time to share a little of life with me. I’m available on Facebook and Google+ if you have questions or just want to chat and say hi. I can also be found at the JVLOG forum with other Japan-related content creators. All links are listed below. I look forward to meeting you on-line. Have a great day!

The Path of WildnessThe Path of Wildness is easy to find
The course of a stream
Leaves blown in the wind
A beast’s track through the brush
And the direction of our first inclination

The Path of Wildness is an answer and response to a prescribed way of life which may leave some individuals with a sense that their living is little more than a series of pre-determined, step-like episodes between birth and death. The stages of living between these events: childhood, adolescence, adulthood, parenthood and senior are themselves natural and in accord with the needs of the species and most individuals. Many find their satisfaction in living this course and to these individuals I have little or nothing to say. Others though long for something more; something innate, genetic and seemingly calling. Adventure and change can give a degree of satisfaction and relief yet even these may seem too tame. To those who feel drawn to something beyond the entertainment and stimulation of senses I offer a walk along The Path of Wildness. Don’t bother penciling the event in your schedule, preparing a pack with goodies and supplies or even inviting a friend along, for this experience is along the course of your first inclination and you must surely always go alone.

The Path of Wildness Resources


Follow me on Twitter:

Be my friend on Facebook:


3 comments on ““Defeated and looking for guidance” – Sons of Grizzly – LylesBrother

  1. Johanna
    September 24, 2013

    I apologise to Kurt for my long wall of text in the comment session. I also apologise for everyone who reads this, the grammar and spelling misstakes. English is not my motherlanguage.

    To the young man Tanner who wrote the E-mail: I have absolutely no idea how it looks like in your country when it comes to work.
    But I have to say I have an idea what you’re going through. when it comes to having no work.

    I will write this not to sound like I have it worse than you, but just simply to tell you that you are not alone, even tho we may live in different countries.

    When i went to school, I wasnt a top student, I failed some classes, this was what I choose myself, thinking nothing of what the future may bring, When i started college I picked studies I rly did love, I went through artstudies with very good grades in painting and sketching and everything artistic, but I failed some other classes like math, and science and those classes that needs you to handle numbers. At the time I didnt care about this, I was young and careless, I partied and got drunk every weekend flushing the studies down the drain. I couldnt care less about the future then I did, I lived in the moment, and the moment yelled at me to have fun, so I did. I Ended up in the wrong company and started doing drugs, only for a short while, but this meant that i screw schoolstudies over even more.

    When graduation came 3 years later. I didnt had the right to study in a University, due to failing in some mandatory classes. This hit me like a hard slap in the face. Why wouldnt people except me? Little did i think of that it was my own fault, but it was. My artstudies did’nt help me, I’d choosen to study classes that required university studies to be able to become an art-class teacher, studies I hadnt the right to start due to my failing. Neither could I become something else when it came to my artclass graduation. You needed a University grade for most of the artistic jobs and I didnt had it.

    I started to work in eldercare after graduation, something I loved, but I was only vacant, they called me in for work when regular workers got sick. It looked like this for 4 years, jumping in 16 days one month and the next only 2 days. Economy went more down and I was forced to search for help from our society. Here in Sweden we have a good thing, when people cant pay their rent or in other means survive, they get some money from the society, this isnt much money we’re talking about. Its enough to get you by with the bills you have and to buy the necessaritys like food and such. The money cant cover the costs of having parties and buying alcohol down at the local pub, which I choosed to do. When half the month had gone I usually didnt had that much money left, being forced to live on the food that I still had in the fridge. I lost weight very quickly due to this and I started to struggle to stay above my weightpoint. All because I choose alcohol instead of food. Food was boring and didnt give you a good time with your friends, thats how my brain worked when I was younger. Buying something that isnt giving myself some fun, is not worth putting money on. (I’m still a bit like that, and I work hard to rethink)

    I moved around in Sweden a lot in my youth due to having boyfriends I moved in with, instead of them ever moving to me in my town. I worked in the new cities but again only as Vacant, so some month was very tough, and others were paradise for my shoppingfingers. I never felt home anywhere, ofc I got new friends to hang around and party with, but I never felt home..anywhere.

    It looked like this till about 4 years ago when I decided to settle down, I met my boyfriend who is a dutchy and lives in The Netherlands, still no work of course and no money so I moved in with my dad and his new wife. I got money from the society and payed dad rent for the room I lived in, untill one day when his new wife destroyed everything for me and I was forced to move out. I moved in with my mother in another town. I was living on her couch for 6 months, getting the money from society. At the time I was 26 years old.

    Today I still have no work to go too, and I have never had a full-time job. Right now I study to an assistant nurse in psychiatric care. And I like it. I rly wish for a full-time job after I’m done with my studies. But there is never anything which garantees it. I can just hope that it will come my way. I moved in with my dad again after he broke up with his exwife, I have my old room in the basement. I feel at ease there, my own little piece of relaxation and own-time. But it’s not home. I’m still together with my boyfriend from The netherlands and he studies over there so we cant see eachother that much over a year.

    Hello my friends, my name is Johanna from Sweden I’m at the moment I’m writing this 30 years and 6 months old, still looking like im 18, always have to show my ID when buying alcohol. 30 years in Sweden is the age where you should have everything settled.
    I never had a full-time job and my economy sucks rly bad.
    I have a boyfriend in the Netherlands I cant see as much as I wish I did.
    I want to start a family but Boyfriend being where he is and me where I am It’s not gonna work out for now.
    I live in a room in my dads basement cause I cant afford the high rents for having my own appartment.

    I’m 30 years old and I’m still searching for a full-time job. I know what you’re going through. hang in there Tanner and know that you’re not alone. Keep hopes up and face life with a smile, You are suppose to live your life, your life is not suppose to live you!

  2. Johanna
    September 24, 2013

    To mention another thing. is that being a substitue for a work is almost as bad and in some parts of the country counts as having no job at all.

  3. Johanna
    September 24, 2013

    (always remember something else to write down ofc after the long post is already done.)

    All this ranting about my life, I cant even promise you that it gets better. But I have been where you are. I have felt very lost and broken down. So broken down that the worst thoughts crossed my mind. I have been through a lot and encountered so much of the bad things in my youth, death, drugs, alcohol missuse, abuse, torture both to my mind and my body done by myself and others I thought I loved. I’m not sticking it under a chair to keep hidden. I want to share of my lifeexperience to others. I’ve have been called and looked down on as trash by society and people in my surroundings. But I have also encountered beautiful moments, joy, happiness and real love I only thought existed in dreams and fairytales. I smile because I’m happy. I laugh because I feel joy. I’ve abandon some of my dreams. But I am happy now, I live my life the way I can for the moment, next year maybe I can pick up my dreams again and start buildning them up slowly. If not next year then maybe the year after that. Your life is a fulltime job, it needs plans and schedules and lists on what to do and assignments. And I know you will get to the point where you want to be.

    Okay sorry, this is enough from me, I can keep telling you to keep your hopes up, but I think i’ve done that so much already. Go out in the world like a wolf with sheepsclothing, be free and true to yourself.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: