Kurt Bell

A life of courage, joy and independence.

Carrying his own weight – LylesBrother

I’ve recently been re-thinking some earlier expressed ideas on the subject of independence for young, able-bodied men of sound mind. Below is one of the videos which expresses my earlier thoughts followed by a comment from a viewer and finally my response which provides in a nutshell the revision of principal I’d like to make.

Viewer response:

“I’m 24, have an education from “university” and have recently purchased a house that I am fixing up to live in. I am however, still living at home and would continue to do so even if I didn’t have the house. I get along great with my father and if I needed to save money I certainly wouldn’t choose a tent to live in while doing so. I commend you on the desire you had to get out and become independent.” -CJ80s

And my follow-up response:

“It sounds like you & your dad have worked out a nice living arrangement which works for the both of you. I’ve been meaning to make a new video to amend this & others I have made on this subject. I wish to add that a deeper & perhaps more important point is that young, able-bodied, post-academic men should do everything they can to avoid being cared for by others (unless ill or otherwise incapacitated). Living at home is fine as long as the young man carries his own weight & then some.” -Kurt đŸ™‚

The key point then is not really whether or not the young, able-bodied, post-academic man* is living with others but whether or not he is actively occupying a lead role in his own current sustenance and provisioning towards the future. The great danger is in unnecessary dependence on others (particularly parents) which may dull or even incapacitate an otherwise ready wit and will. Pride of purpose and the sense of real control and independence which comes of being a breadwinner is an important element of maturity and well-being as well as a valuable character trait when it comes time to face down and take action against difficult life challenges. Young people (I deliberately chose the word “people” here instead of “men”) who are deprived or avoid such opportunity to grow may be in some measure incapacitated at later stages of life.

*Though these observations may apply to women as well I tend to focus on men as I believe that there is something particular to the human male which requires attention in these matters to grow healthy and function properly in life. This is not to say that women do not need independence (I believe they do) but instead that I am largely ignorant of the more complete needs of women and must defer the treatment of this topic to mature, reasonable adult women who have such a grasp and may be willing to share their understanding with a younger generation of females.

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